A brief history of time.

Someone asked,” why do I always insist on taking the hard road?” I replied, “Why do you assume I see two roads?” It’s a quote that resonated with me.

When everyone around me ruled out divorce as an option, I knew it was the only one. My relationship had reached a point where it was beyond repair. At 19, I ran away in Bollywood style to get married to someone whom I barely knew and now at 28, after being married for 8 years and having a 5-year-old son, I was at a crossroads to take this life altering grave decision of a divorce.

My emotional turmoil didn’t end with my divorce rather it had just begun. I was left bruised and was perpetually in self-doubt. My vulnerability led me to some odd, demanding and uncaring relationships. But soon I realised that I was only filling up my phonebook with contacts of people I would never see again in my life. I could see that I was standing in the ashes of the past version of myself.

I understand the importance of being honest and I have taught myself to be brave. I am not fearless as there are things that scare me but I am brave to do them anyway. My journey from Vani Bhamra to Vani Pandya and now to Vani Kabir - ‘the modern Sufi’ hasn’t been an easy one. But what life is worth if it comes easy. You only become a warrior when you show-up for the war. You are allowed to choose you ammunition, like I chose words as swords and I use them mercilessly on paper. I read pages and pages for ages to find a cure for my hurt. But it is only when you get comfortable with your uncomfortable self is when you will start to walk a path that belongs to you. That is when you will love yourself first and make own your decisions. That’s when you wont fear life anymore and start living it. 

vani kabir